Sunday, May 16, 2010

Our Hope

For those with chronic mental illness, the struggle never goes away. I've been on medication for over 2 years now. Being on the meds keeps me steady. I look at it this way- my brain starts out with a deficit of neutransmitters. The meds make my brain produce the right number. So basically, taking meds makes me normal.

But sometimes, even the meds don't help like they should.

Like today.

I sure hope I feel better tomorrow, otherwise its going to be a very long day.

I once heard one of the Patriarchs of our church say that Christians must be optimists. That makes total sense to me. Of course, being a pessimist and a cynic by nature, I find this incredibly difficult, in spite of what I believe.

Now I know I must apply myself all the more diligently to my ascetic practices for they are God's means of refining our souls and uniting us with Him. If that is my hope, then how can I be pessimistic?

Honestly, I just want peace- in my mind, in my soul, in my relationships... I want to love others. By loving others, I hope to look past myself and apply my efforts and my thoughts to showing others that they are loved. How can loving others not bring peace?

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